The Philosopher Red Questions My Motives While He Makes Cookies

The philosopher Red is making Mind Expanding Cricket Cookies and questioning my blogging motives.

達磨 Dharma-Zen Painting-

達磨 Dharma-Zen Painting- (Photo credit: hira3)

“Why do you surf on that internet when you could be out on the beach surfing?”

“I blog to put pieces of my writing out into the world to get some reaction, to see if where I’m going with my novel is the right direction or not, ” I tell him.  He scoffs at me and returns to the smoking stove in my newly trashed kitchen.

“You should put something important on your blog, something these people will care about,” he says over his shoulder, “like my recipe for Cricket Cookies.”I have followers who would object to your cookies,” I tell him as I open a new page, “people who are vegitarians…people who would be offended by your eating every bug you find in my apartment.”

“These cookies are going to be a masterpiece of Cartesian rationalism,” he replies, folding in a bowl of chopped, pungent greens.  “But you can’t list the secret ingredient.”Costa Rican Wow weed…and a lot of it.  Where the hell would he get that?  He never leaves the apartment.”Is this going to leave me on the floor, like your deep-fried caterpillar kabobs?”

“Those kabobs were to die for,” the Philosopher Red says, “for the gastrotorial delight of the consumer, and those caterpillars.”

“That doesn’t even sound like a real word…gastrotorial?”

“The criterion of truth is not sensory, but intellectual and deductive,” he says, pushing a large, warm cookie in my mouth.  “Put that in your stupid blog, and don’t use my name.”I half chew the cookie, then swallow in self defense.”Have another…you seem to have liked that one,” says the Philosopher Red, pushing me away from my computer.  “What have we got here?”  He starts clicking away at the keys, stopping only to shove another cookie in my mouth as I try to take a drink from my water bottle. He goes back to tapping away at the computer keys.

– 2 cups of old-fashioned oats

– 1 cup of flour

– 1/2 teaspoon salt

– 1/2 cup raw cane sugar

– 2 sticks unsalted butter, softened

– 1/2 cup packed light brown sugar

– 1 brown egg

– 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

– 4 cups live crickets

– Secret ingredient to taste

Oven:  pre-heat to 170 Celsius
Dough: dump your lumps on greased cookie sheet, or what is available in friends poorly stocked kitchen
Bake: until golden brown, or earlier if cookies start smoking
“You’re not going to post that trash on my site,” I mumble, feeling a bit bleary, a bit worse for wear and tear.  “My site is literary and serious…you’ll lower the entire tone…of everything I’ve…posted so far…you can’t -“
“Goodnight, sweet dunce – I mean, prince,” I hear the Philosopher Red say in a buttery, soft dream.  “Posted,” he says as he pushes a button on my computer, then lowers the screen.

8 thoughts on “The Philosopher Red Questions My Motives While He Makes Cookies

  1. Cricket Cookies !! Caterpillar kabobs !! Hilarious !!
    He sure has an appetite with a twist. And he doesn’t let you stop him from being His self. Not everyone can do that.

    • coyotero2112 says:

      He’s got an episode coming up soon…we’ll see what he’s been up to. I can feel it coming. Thanks again for stopping by.

      • Will be on the wait list for that. For me, all your writings are amazing. But, Philosopher Red is just beyond something:) I cherish reading about his “events”.
        Regards 🙂

        • coyotero2112 says:

          I’ve had some tropical bug, and out of pain pills for my crunched back…out of action for a couple of days. Today, got it all together. Must write…I ache to write something, and the Philosopher Red is rattling around in my head. Happening now…

          • Everything is going wrong at your end, just like here. Those rattlings are being
            Severe power outage coupled with a few other circumstances and woala, we have recipe for chaos !
            Do looking forward for those “rattlings” posted here 🙂 I haven’t come across this type of writing before and I sure have read some very -serious- things as I might say 🙂
            Regards 🙂

            • coyotero2112 says:

              There are always people who make out from chaos and fear…keeping low and providing a moving target is one answer. When that’s not possible, there’s an old Serbian maxim: “Tell the truth, then run.” Hate to sound so pragmatic, but…

  2. coyotero2112 says:

    He’s on his way out – at leastt I hope. You never know with a curmedgeon like The Philosopher Red.

  3. shimmyshark says:

    Yeah, Philosopher Red!

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