The Philosopher Red Interrupts My Day with Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde

A Big Book Bus II

Catching a bus out of a Costa Rican beach town can be a trying experience.  No real schedule…as many people as I ask about the next bus is about how many different answers I will get.  One book just won’t do – I suggest taking two.  Feeling a slippage in my wit and wisdom meter the other day, I picked out The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain and The Wit and Wisdom of Oscar Wilde.  I think the text books for my self-taught course were wise choices.

I read when I’m walking…I read while I’m waiting for buses, horses, tides, and for the Philosopher Red to get out of his AA meeting.  Yes, the red-hooded one has finally realized that his insect eating habit has gotten out of control.  He has admitted he is powerless, and has decided to seek the help of a higher power.  Good for him…and really good for me.  Maybe meetings will help him identify a few other of the addictive problems he is overpowered by as well.

I thinks he’s feeling a little ashamed of himself.  He has told me that I should come along to meetings with him…that walking around reading two books at a time is an indication that I have a problem.  I don’t agree with that.  It’s a strategy I’ve developed over time, traveling or waiting or walking with two books, going back and forth between the two.  When the words and ideas begin to blend together they become a fuzzy blur…then they start to re-constitute in my imagination.  The wit and wisdom stay, but they start to come out my mouth in my own words, with little indication that I am standing on the shoulders of giants, two masters of biting, one-line social commentary.

A Book at PedroA bus did eventually come, and I hopped a ride down to Pedro’s Surf Shop, which is where the AA and NA meetings are held in this little sand box of a town, as The Philosopher Red likes to call my home for now.

So, I’m standing outside of the Pedro’s Surf Shop and Anonymous meeting complex, when an old friend, Maxie Khan, comes out of Pedro’s and tells me that the Anonymous group has invited The Philosopher Red to leave, and he’s obliged them with his absence.

I find this hard to believe, since my non-ordinary philosopher friend rarely obliges anyone, and usually breaks something if asked to leave anywhere.  Then Maxie tells me he’s here to fix a broken door, pick up some damaged furniture, and smooth things over with Pedro.  Maxie owns just about everything in this town.

Now I’m beginning to believe.

So, it’s off to find The Philosopher Red.  I might be able to calm him down enough to mitigate the damage he will inflict on my condo, if that’s where he’s headed.  Luckily, Maxie tells me that the insect addict was ranting about an ants’ nest he had seen on the way to the meeting, which gives me some relief…but how wild will he be once he gets a belly full of those ants?

I start up the road, skirting the horses of the cowboys still in the meeting.  Cowboys here  in Guanacaste work hard, they play hard, and they drink hard.  And they park their horses wherever they please.


A Big Book Horse


Hot, humid tropical countries are known for being laid back…for taking it easy…for going with the flow.  This is not how Maxie Kahn operates, and it’s certainly not how The Philosopher Red rolls.  I hope the two of them never get together, especially since the teenaged revolutionary Marie hijacked the red-robed philosopher’s revolution with her reincarnation of Feminists United to Suppress the Slaughter, or F.U.S.S., as they’re commonly referred to since last I reported on their activities.  People here are in fear…I can feel it in the air…I sensed it as I walked by the horses.  There seems to be no quarter or creature large or small that F.U.S.S. hasn’t thrown into a panic.  But I carry on, as I always do.  I figure if The Philosopher Red is down by the treeline rooting out a nest of ants, the easiest way to find him will be to sit down on a rock I know out by the tide line and wait…let him come to me.


A Big Book Beach Two

That’s the Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde effect kicking in…becoming wiser – wise enough to not go after the insect-eating maniac friend of mine.  And, hopefully I’ll be a little wittier when I do find him – witty enough to amuse him into not breaking up my condo, drinking and eating my refrigerator bare, or holding a F.U.S.S. action coordinating committee meeting on my porch while I’m trying to finish my books.  Good luck to me.

The giants whose shoulders I stand on are memorialized everywhere, in print, photographs, or statuary, or gravestone…

Cover of

達磨 Dharma-Zen Painting-

I’m beginning to feel the breath of mortality…and my red-hooded maniac of a friend is the cause of this, I think.  His views on determinism are not very encouraging.  And, if I know Maxie Kahn, like I think I do, I’ll end up in a piece of ground that he holds the title to.  And, if I know The Philosopher Red, like I know I do, he’ll be standing on more than my shoulders.  And he’ll be munching on one of his insect specialties, spitting the hard, crunchy parts all over the place, making my final resting place as much of a mess as he’s made of my condo.

I should probably take a personal inventory of my positive thought process…

Pura Vida, as they say around here.

21 thoughts on “The Philosopher Red Interrupts My Day with Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde

  1. Reading two books at a time definitely hit my funny bone.
    Beginning to feel the breath of mortality ! Wow, felt a sudden intense pang even though i haven’t been through this experience.

    • coyotero2112 says:

      Not really…just a passing thought related to this bit of story. The category “Philosopher Red” has all the posts from our first meeting to the present. My wife says his story is becoming one I should tell in full. He is a volotile character…I don’t know about the wisdom of that idea.

  2. A treat as always. Photos are priceless especially-Pedro’s Surf Shop. Gotta love that Maxie.

    • coyotero2112 says:

      Yeah, Maxie Kahn is kind of secretive, but he’s soon to be exposed. Hanging out with the crowd he’s chosen – as Hunter Thompson used to say, “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

  3. Aha…another Philosopher Red…never let anyone interfere with Mark Twain. I’m just sayin’.

  4. […] The Philosopher Red Interrupts My Day with Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde ( […]

  5. Indeed, lots of fun and the photos of you engrossed in your books as the world behind you slowly changes is a hoot! Cheers!

  6. What a great chilled start to a busy Monday – thanks. That random schedule also applies here in the big city – just more frequent buses, but on their own timescale. I’m also a two book juggler, sometimes more, but that can get a bit confusing…

  7. harmony77uk says:

    I can’t do twopence books at once…

    • harmony77uk says:

      Frigging auto correct… Two!

    • coyotero2112 says:

      A tuppence? I still don’ understand English money, and I’ve been there twice. Glad you stopped by !

    • coyotero2112 says:

      Put the reply in the wrong box. That’s Two for me today, already. Looking forward to your next post.

      • harmony77uk says:

        Nobody seems to like my longer stuff :/ that’s my project unless inspired

        • coyotero2112 says:

          Short attention spans ! I posted several chapters of a novel in progress, and it received hardly any attention, and no comments. And, they were short chapters. Poetry, photos, animals with quote bubbles, and inspirational thoughts are sooooo popular because they don’t require much time. Being a writer is one of the most difficult things a person can choose to be…I do it because I have to. Chin up, and Cheers !

  8. jerwayne2013 says:

    Very entertaining read. Bus schedule sounds like the one in Mexico. It just comes whenever it wants to also.

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