Baby Turtles, Bonnie and Clyde, and Outlawing the Semicolon

English: Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, somet...

English: Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, sometime between 1932 and 1934, when their exploits in Arkansas included murder, robbery, and kidnapping. Contrary to popular belief the two never married. They were in a long standing relationship. Posing in front of an early 1930s Ford V-8 automobile. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s been a week of missed opportunities, once again.  I found out too late it was World Turtle Day, and while internetting around to see what I had missed, I found I had also missed National Taffy Day, Chardonnay Day, and The Bonnie and Clyde Festival in Gibsland, Louisiana, where the whacky Dallas duo were ambushed and killed on May 23, 1934.  Bummer. And, then there’s the raging debate over semicolons.

Missing World Turtle Day blows. The worldwide celebration is observed in a variety of ways, from dressing up as turtles or wearing green summer dresses, to Turtle Day lesson plans and craft projects that encourage teaching about turtles in classrooms.  Founded in 1990, the American Tortoise Rescue is responsible for promoting the idea turtles need love too, and seems to practice what they preach, claiming to have placed 3,000 tortoises and turtles in caring homes.  Does this call for a re-reading of Darwin’s On the Origin of Species ?  In a Darwinian world where might makes right, human industry polluting these slow-moving, antique, and unproductive members of the food chain into extinction makes perfectly good sense when reviewing the bottom line…which is always the bottom line.

Taffy Day…Chardonnay Day…I can take or leave the taffy, but I’m open to housing any homeless bottles of decent Chardonnay.

A Bonnie and Clyde Festival though, and the Bonnie and Clyde Ambush Museum in Louisiana in the Spring…I am making plans for next year and circling the dates on my American Tortoise Rescue calendar.  This does sound choice.  A group of actors from Denton, Texas, a town whose local bank was robbed twice by the B&C gang, show up annually to re-enact the ambush and squirt fake blood all over Ringgold Road where the real event took place.  Besides reenactments, tourists can meet some of Bonnie and Clyde’s relatives, such as Clyde’s nephew, Buddy Barrow, and his sister Marie Barrow.  And now and then some of Bonnie’s kin show up as well.  Then there’s “Boots” Hinton, whose father Ted was one of the six lawmen from the ambush.

English: L.J. "Boots" Hinton, curato...

English: L.J. “Boots” Hinton, curator of Bonnie & Clyde Ambush Museum in Gibsland, LA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Boots” must be a popular name to bear in the piny woods of Louisiana, since the undertaker who embalmed Bonnie and Clyde back in 1934 was C.F. “Boots” Bailey.  He was an attention-mad sniveler though, complaining to the press about what difficult clients the notorious outlaws had been.  Seems the two bodies were so full of bullet holes the embalming fluid leaked all over Boots’ boots.

Some lifetimes life just sucks.

To get a scholarly perspective, anyone attending the event can sit in on the Friday night historians meeting at which “they come and argue about stuff,” says Billie Gene Poland, one of the festival’s organizers and the curator of the Authentic Bonnie and Clyde Museum in Gibsland.

The Authentic Bonnie and Clyde Museum…or…The Bonnie and Clyde Ambush Museum.  It’s like deciding between the Louvre and the Paris Museum of Modern Art on your last sober day in Paris.

English: Bonnie_&_Clyde Ambush Museum (Revised...

English: Bonnie_&_Clyde Ambush Museum (Revised), Gibsland, LA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Ambush Museum doesn’t have a budget, they depend on donations, which means the pickin’s here are pretty slim.  There are some gun displays and two female mannequins dressed to look like the gangsters.   Outside the museum, there are lots of vendors selling everything from commemorative T-shirts to small swatches of cloth torn from the pants Clyde was wearing when they were gunned down.  Seems authenticty might be an issue.

For those who prefer Broadway, you missed out too.  The musical “Bonnie and Clyde” was run off the road.  Premiering at the La Jolla Playhouse on November 20, 2009, the show idled around the country, eventually making it to Broadway on November 4 of last year.  It only lasted 69 shows, then died, which seems to be a connecting thread here.  There’s always the 1967 film by Arthur “Bloody Art” Penn, starring Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway.  And Bonnie’s poem (figures she was a poet) “Trail’s End” has inspired songs by everyone, as in Brigette Bardot, Flatt and Scruggs, Mel Torme, Merle Haggard, Die Toten Hosen, a German punk band, and even weirder…in 2007, Belinda Carlysle, former head mistress of the all-girl pop band The Go-Gos.

And, if obsessive disorders interest you more than crappy music, you might look into Hybristophilia – Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome, big brother to Asphyxiophilia, Autassassinophilia, and Chremosistophilia.  Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome sufferers seem to be turned on by predatory types, becoming sexually aroused and more orgasm responsive when contemplating the careers of psychopathic killers, which is why Ted “Boots” Bundy,  Jeffrey “The Heel” Dahmer, and Charlie “Sole Man” Manson never knew a slow mail month while in prison.

Bonnie and Clyde Death Car at the National Mus...

Bonnie and Clyde Death Car at the National Museum of Crime & Punishment (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Daily Trivia Tidbit:  Bonnie and Clyde’s death car is on display to the public at the National Museum of Crime and Punishment.  Who would have thought there would be such a place…and, who would have thought a country ever-teetering on the brink of fiscal disaster would fund such a museum…and, who would think this ramble would need another bit of useless trivia?

This has been a very trying post, and I feel a touch of Hybristophilia coming on, so I’m going to have to hold off on the semicolon question and write some letters.


35 thoughts on “Baby Turtles, Bonnie and Clyde, and Outlawing the Semicolon

  1. Val Mills says:

    Bother mising National Chardonnay Day. We make mighty good chardonnay here in NZ but gosh, I don’t think we have a national day for it! That needs looking in to.

    • coyotero2112 says:

      An oversight, I’m sure. The U.S. has such a mania for “Days” that there seems to be a dozen subjects a day that need to be honored, attended to, or taken note of. I know the greeting card companies invented a lot of them early on to spur business, such as Mother’s Day, Sweetest Day, Secretary’s Day, etc. A bit nutty, really. Thanks for stopping by…

  2. jannatwrites says:

    So you pulled the evening news ‘teaser’ trick, eh? (About semicolons.) I happen to be fond of semicolons, so I’ll stay tuned to see if I need to start a petition to save them 🙂

    • coyotero2112 says:

      You’re the third person who commented about my old humorist’s trick of advertising one thing, then rambling off until time runs out. Charles Ferrar Browne, Mark Twain, and Petroleum Naseby used this in many of their speaking engagements…guess I’m going to have to do a semicolon telethon or something. You’re going to MC it.

  3. Damn. I read through all that stuff (which was interesting) to be respectful for the semi colon discussion which I really wanted to read. So I am hooked for another post

    • coyotero2112 says:

      Sorry to disappoint…an old humorist’s trick, to announce something, then wander around lost, running out of time for the promised goods. I’ve always considered it a hermaphrodite which should only be used in lists after a colon, but that’s a personal style question.

  4. Word Wabbit says:

    Just a thought on turtles: just because we may be subject to “survival of the fittest” doesn’t mean we have to embrace it—or dress up turtles in little turtle dresses. (poor turtles, how humiliating!)

    Sweet car! (too bad for Boots)

    …Rats, I was reading through your post specifically to get to your coverage of the semicolon question…


    • coyotero2112 says:

      I live in Turtle heaven. Las Baulus National Park is one of the few places endangered Leatherbacks lay eggs..I walk there. Saw a nest of turtle eggs hatch near Cahuita on the Caribbean side – truly magical. It was sacasm to kick Social Darwinists rather than a hug. The semicolo debate…a strategy of Charles Browne, the storyteller who Twain stole his act from. Hold lectures called “60 Minutes in Africa” then fumble his way through a speech, never mentioning Africa, then apologize for running too long…standing on the shoulders of my Giants…sorry.

      • Word Wabbit says:

        Interesting. 🙂

        I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how do you manage to live in Costa Rica? I’m thinking about teaching ESL and moving south. Any thoughts? Advice?

  5. How did I miss Chardonnay Day????? Guess I have some making up to do

  6. Fascinating. Just one tiny suggestion. Never sell taffy short. I have fond memories of pulling taffy with my mother on rainy afternoons in Richards, Texas in the 50s. I distinctly remember the recipe called for cream of tartar which seemed to me to be an exotic ingredient. Cream of tartar. Taffy pulls. Bonnie and Clyde. All in Texas. Take two bank robbers and add a dash of legends. Simmer.

    • coyotero2112 says:

      My favorite Texan, besides you and the Pack, or course, was that Civil War general who led the Texas Brigade for a while…had both his legs and an arm shot off, but still got strapped into his saddle and carried on like a charmed maniac. I’ll remember his name after I’m done here. Sounds like a Monty Python sketch, I know. I read a book written by Bonnie’s mum, and they were a couple of small-time punks whose bigger jobs were disasters, but the photos and poems the law got from raiding their Joplin, Missouri hideout were publicized, and they were romanticized, and became the most pumped up villains since Billy “the Dumb” Kidd. Weird world.
      Woof to the Pack…

  7. mrs fringe says:

    What? My bucket list wasn’t long enough for you? Now that I know it exists, I want to see the Bonnie and Clyde museum. I think they’ve got the set from Deliverance out back.

    • coyotero2112 says:

      And don’t leave out The Divine Creation Museum in Paducah, Kentucky. I hear the main exhibit is a Bible open to Genesis…and dinosaurs co-existing with people to solve the timeline problem with places like the Grand Canyon.

  8. jerwayne2013 says:

    Very interesting article about 2 of the most hunted people ever..I thought the car in which they died was black in color???

    • coyotero2112 says:

      And full of bullet holes. A re-model job. Clyde once wrote a letter to Henry Ford thanking him for making such fast, bullet-deflecting cars…a fan letter.

  9. monosolo says:

    You left out “These Boots are Made for Walkin'” Sinatra, didn’t you?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s